I recenlty got this email which sums up so perfectly what a complicated world we live in:
Holiday Greetings to Everyone
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it
is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without
offending someone. So I met with my legal advisor yesterday, and on his advice I
wishto say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced
with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular
practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of
other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country
great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other
country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is
warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message;
however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced. This
email may contain traces of nuts, MSG and other allergens.
Well, while we are on the subject of this weekends trip into the city for the Robbie Williams (the last time I will mention his name, SERIOUSLY!) concert I should also relay a little info to any gals who may find themselves in the same position as I did.
I have always been lucky enough to have my dad or a partner around to check everything was functioning ok with the car, when I have had one, so I have never really paid much attention to them. I know how to check the oil and water and change a flat tyre but that is about as far as my car knowledge extends. So this weekend when I was driving in the middle of the city during a nice sprinkling of rain and I put my foot on the breaks I was a little perturbed when it went flat against the floorboard and I did not stop! I was even more perturbed when I noticed that the lights at the bottom of the hill, that I was about half way down, had decided to change to red. Could it get any worse? Yes! I was about 15 blocks away from my hotel, it was dark and raining and my dad was about 100km away and partner 20 000km overseas! The boys that I was with were of no particular use to anyone except to moan about wanting to get back to the hotel. They soon shut up when I had to gear down and slowly apply to handbrake which led to a lot of suqealing wheels and us skidding into a thankfully empty intersection! Talk about your life flashing before your eyes.
So just a little word of advice from the newly wise - before you head off on any long distance journeys make sure you check that there is brake fluid in the car! And make sure you know where to look for the little container thingy that you pour it into ( I had to stand in the rain with the owners manual and search in the semi-darkness for the darn thing!). I used to consider myself quite the independent woman, but this weekend I learnt I have a long way to go!
Yes girls, Robbie fever has hit Brisbane this week with his first show tonight. But what is most important is that tomorrow night WHEN I AM THERE and our eyes meet in the crowd he will be unable to control himself and will get down on one knee and propose instantly. I have put a lot of thought into this and marriage is such a big step, but I do feel that he will be able to provide well for my children and give me the sort of life that I should be accustomed to.
Is it those boyish good looks? Is it the charm? Is it that bad boy attitude? hhmmmm he is so good at all of them it is difficult to choose.
Have fun to all of you who will be there, I know I sure will. And when I wake with a bump and realise that my wedding has all been a dream I will console myself with re-runs of the DVD whilst snuggling in authentic concert T-shirt and cap and sipping my can of vodka premix from my Robbie stubbie cooler and crying over the phone on my limited edition Robbie mobile...not that I`m an obessed fan or anything!