First Class isn`t all it`s cracked up to be anyway....
March 30th 2008 05:46
Why sleep when you have to be up at the crack of dawn, right? As we begin our reverse manoeuvre and I glance around at the other bleary eyed passengers, I see the expression on their face mirroring the tired tickings of my own thoughts as we collectively wonder why we never grabbed them while we had the chance.
Glancing out the window whilst I waited to board I noted the double deck bulge over the cockpit and allowed a few moments of jealous contemplation as I imagined sipping First Class Champagne (which I was sure had more bubbles than my economy class plonk) and a bed to sprawl across in (obviously more roomy than my little economy class box) sigh... maybe one day!
I had heard it was snowing in the UK and not having much in the way of warm clothes, had dragged my long black coat out, which I had from life as a Londoner a few years back. With the muggy Brisbane weather there was no way I would be donning it, and lugging my already sweaty body and hand luggage around for the two hours before departure, so had it slung over one arm. Problem with this is that I really don't need an excuse to be clumsy, so put something in my way to trip over and... well, you get the picture!
Finally wrestling my way to the back of the plane and all the while unintentionally wacking a few already seated passengers in the head with a stray sleeve, at the same time trying to be patient as people stood in the aisle to organise what looked like their entire household (minus the kitchen sink of course, because that would be just be silly, now wouldn't it?) into the overhead compartment, I had... not made it to my seat! My pupils managed to swim through the bloodshot rivers of my eyeballs to focus on the number on the boarding pass which glared back with its 72K clearly stamped against the white background. So why was the last row only 66? All of a sudden I imagined the rest of us crammed into the toilet cubicles, like the hastily stowed toys of a young child forced to clean their bedroom, a few stray limbs pushed in while two air stewards pressed firmly against the door to shut us all in. Seriously, where would I sit?
'Sorry ma'am you are upstairs, you need to go back to the front of the plane and up the stairs.' the smiling stewardess announced as she looked at the seat number. First Class? NO WAY !!! I was travelling... me that got lost alone on my first night in Paris and had to sit in the dark doorway of the Holiday Inn. Me that had to spend two days in the same clothes during a heatwave in Rome when my bags were lost somewhere between the hotel and the coach. Me that was quaranteened in Venice when a passenger died from meningitis. Me get bumped up to First Class? It was pay day baby and I was here to collect!
Now struggling my way back against the the tide of passengers and giving a few more wacks in the head I glanced at the tiny seats and giggled. Soon I would languishing in luxury! I no longer minded the tripping and wacking and sweating, no one expects to get anything without at least a little bit of a struggle. Climbing the stairs I could almost taste the caviar and grinned like the Cheshire Cat at the smiling stewardess waiting at the top of the stairs to usher me into.... the rest of economy class! A small room of about 20 rows was plonked onto the top of the plane, probably to make more space for those first class beds and all that space they needed for their plates of caviar and bottles of champagne. I swear these seats were smaller than the ones below - I knew it was too good to be true! Not 5 seconds after sitting down the guy infront of me started getting prematurely excited and reclined his chair, which left the screen inches from my face and the table suddenly poking me in places that shouldn't be poked in such public circumstances! HA! We have to take off yet buddy, I`m onto you, it ain`t happenening when we are up in the air!
Although I dont mind flying I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan, really not enjoying the whole landing experience too much. With the feel of the nose downward in decent my stomach wasn't too overjoyed and my my brain started to tick to thoughts of... well I`m writing this on the plane so let`s not go there. Not only am I NOT in First Class but I'm basically at the very front of the plane, OVER first class but still not IN first class, and from here the decent will be FULLY felt. Taking off felt like what I would imagine rocketing into space would feel like!
Once settled at a more level position I was remined of my burning passion for travel. Like a ship sailing across an ocean of white, billowing clouds we set sail high above the earth. As if by magic they parted over the Great Barrier Reef to reveal what looked like a giant scattering of opals far below where tiny stretches of beach were lapped calmly by tourquoise waters and surrounded by swirling reefs.
Squiggles and circles of reef appeared again below, resembling the lines eaten away on the bark of a tree trunk by some little critter. The day flight was proving to be much more exciting than previously anticipated, the variety of inflight entertainment no competition for the delights beow. We had been warned of turbulence around the Equator and I watched nervously as we approached the line on the map which was intermittently shown on the screen at the front of the cabin. This was going to be where the prayers started!
ps. once I figure out how to get the photos onto the computer I will post some. Flying over North Asia was the most beautiful experience...
Glancing out the window whilst I waited to board I noted the double deck bulge over the cockpit and allowed a few moments of jealous contemplation as I imagined sipping First Class Champagne (which I was sure had more bubbles than my economy class plonk) and a bed to sprawl across in (obviously more roomy than my little economy class box) sigh... maybe one day!
I had heard it was snowing in the UK and not having much in the way of warm clothes, had dragged my long black coat out, which I had from life as a Londoner a few years back. With the muggy Brisbane weather there was no way I would be donning it, and lugging my already sweaty body and hand luggage around for the two hours before departure, so had it slung over one arm. Problem with this is that I really don't need an excuse to be clumsy, so put something in my way to trip over and... well, you get the picture!
Finally wrestling my way to the back of the plane and all the while unintentionally wacking a few already seated passengers in the head with a stray sleeve, at the same time trying to be patient as people stood in the aisle to organise what looked like their entire household (minus the kitchen sink of course, because that would be just be silly, now wouldn't it?) into the overhead compartment, I had... not made it to my seat! My pupils managed to swim through the bloodshot rivers of my eyeballs to focus on the number on the boarding pass which glared back with its 72K clearly stamped against the white background. So why was the last row only 66? All of a sudden I imagined the rest of us crammed into the toilet cubicles, like the hastily stowed toys of a young child forced to clean their bedroom, a few stray limbs pushed in while two air stewards pressed firmly against the door to shut us all in. Seriously, where would I sit?
'Sorry ma'am you are upstairs, you need to go back to the front of the plane and up the stairs.' the smiling stewardess announced as she looked at the seat number. First Class? NO WAY !!! I was travelling... me that got lost alone on my first night in Paris and had to sit in the dark doorway of the Holiday Inn. Me that had to spend two days in the same clothes during a heatwave in Rome when my bags were lost somewhere between the hotel and the coach. Me that was quaranteened in Venice when a passenger died from meningitis. Me get bumped up to First Class? It was pay day baby and I was here to collect!
Now struggling my way back against the the tide of passengers and giving a few more wacks in the head I glanced at the tiny seats and giggled. Soon I would languishing in luxury! I no longer minded the tripping and wacking and sweating, no one expects to get anything without at least a little bit of a struggle. Climbing the stairs I could almost taste the caviar and grinned like the Cheshire Cat at the smiling stewardess waiting at the top of the stairs to usher me into.... the rest of economy class! A small room of about 20 rows was plonked onto the top of the plane, probably to make more space for those first class beds and all that space they needed for their plates of caviar and bottles of champagne. I swear these seats were smaller than the ones below - I knew it was too good to be true! Not 5 seconds after sitting down the guy infront of me started getting prematurely excited and reclined his chair, which left the screen inches from my face and the table suddenly poking me in places that shouldn't be poked in such public circumstances! HA! We have to take off yet buddy, I`m onto you, it ain`t happenening when we are up in the air!
Although I dont mind flying I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan, really not enjoying the whole landing experience too much. With the feel of the nose downward in decent my stomach wasn't too overjoyed and my my brain started to tick to thoughts of... well I`m writing this on the plane so let`s not go there. Not only am I NOT in First Class but I'm basically at the very front of the plane, OVER first class but still not IN first class, and from here the decent will be FULLY felt. Taking off felt like what I would imagine rocketing into space would feel like!
Once settled at a more level position I was remined of my burning passion for travel. Like a ship sailing across an ocean of white, billowing clouds we set sail high above the earth. As if by magic they parted over the Great Barrier Reef to reveal what looked like a giant scattering of opals far below where tiny stretches of beach were lapped calmly by tourquoise waters and surrounded by swirling reefs.
Squiggles and circles of reef appeared again below, resembling the lines eaten away on the bark of a tree trunk by some little critter. The day flight was proving to be much more exciting than previously anticipated, the variety of inflight entertainment no competition for the delights beow. We had been warned of turbulence around the Equator and I watched nervously as we approached the line on the map which was intermittently shown on the screen at the front of the cabin. This was going to be where the prayers started!
ps. once I figure out how to get the photos onto the computer I will post some. Flying over North Asia was the most beautiful experience...
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