What a complicated world we live in.
December 26th 2006 23:08
I recenlty got this email which sums up so perfectly what a complicated world we live in:
Holiday Greetings to Everyone
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it
is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without
offending someone. So I met with my legal advisor yesterday, and on his advice I
wishto say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced
with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular
practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of
other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country
great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other
country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is
warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message;
however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced. This
email may contain traces of nuts, MSG and other allergens.
Holiday Greetings to Everyone
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it
is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without
offending someone. So I met with my legal advisor yesterday, and on his advice I
wishto say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced
practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of
other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country
great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other
country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message;
however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced. This
email may contain traces of nuts, MSG and other allergens.
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